Thursday, May 10, 2012

Embrace an Opportunity

At a mom's group recently we ventured into the topic of how to teach your pre-schooler to embrace other children with special needs. I want to expand on this in my blog - to say - how to teach everyone to embrace families and their children with special needs. This topic was poignant for me because I have recently had serveral experiences where the  people (strangers) around me were uncomfortable with the fact that I had a child with special needs. And while I encourage everyone to seek their pediatrician's advice, or the counsel of the NC Childhood Developmental Services Agency (CDSA) if they suspect their own child has a developing disability, I want to talk specifically about teaching your children, and learning a few lessons along the way from your children, about how to embrace a situation and individuals who are uniquely different.

As many of you know, my 2 year old son, Nicholas has Down Syndrome, and there are a several ways that everyone can be involved and embrace an opportunity...

First - There are many things in my list of what not to say, including the pitiful face and expression "I'm sorry" -but I want to focus on "What to say" - which would be - "How can I help?" Whether your friend has just learned of the diagnosis for their child, or you have a new friend with a diagnosis - you can never go wrong with "Is there anything I can do to help you in this situation, or during this time?"  Or if you see a family at the store, a restaurant, etc. - do you need help carrying your tray? Can I help you with that bag, etc. - step out of your comfort zone slightly and your gesture will most likely be met with thankfulness and gratitude.

Second - pray that you will be a blessing to an individual, child or adult, or family with a situation involving special needs or developmental delays. Pray that you will show courage, strength, and wisdom when approaching a situation where you are not aware of all of the attributing factors, and that you will somehow be a light for them at that moment.  

Third - get involved - talk to your children about how God made us all uniquely important, and different for that matter. Be open to introducing your pre-school children to other children with delays - go out of your way to introduce yourself and your child at the play date, museum, etc. You will set the example for your child, and they will so often follow our cues. When your child asks "Why does that boy have braces on his feet" or "Why does she have a walker" - it is not hard to say - "That sweet boy needs help to walk, just like you and I do everyday - he needs help to do those things, and his braces help him walk". Anytime our oldest daughter starts to inquire about the services or equipment that we have in place for Nicholas, I always tell her - "Nicholas needs help to do this, but if we are patient with him and encourage him, he will be able to do all of the same things you can do, it just might take him a little longer to do it".  Children have such a sweet innocence about them, and I am certainly not going to crush that with an ill-faded remark that will begin to jade their spirit and attitude towards someone who develops differently than they do.

 Here are a few Triad local and national resources:

1. Spread the Word to end the Word - take the pledge to end the use of the "R" word - www.spreadtheword.org; Ida mentioned this - it is not acceptable any longer to use this word to describe yourself or another individual in any circumstance. This word is hurtful and has a very negative connotation. If you hear someone use the word, take the opportunity to share the pledge and encourage them to find another way to express themselves or their situation.

2. Down Syndrome Network Annual Buddy Walk - held every year in October, all are welcome - local chapters sponsor each walk - local chapter - DSN of Greater Greensboro - www.team-up.org; funds raised go to support local families with financial hardships due to medical procedures or conditions, in addition to sponsoring families for services needed such as speech therapy, physical therapy, etc. and awareness and support

3. Special Olympics of North Carolina - get involved as a sponsor, mentor, coach, fan, and  in many other ways - www.sonc.net

4. Peacehaven Community Farm - volunteer workdays every Saturday spring through fall for families regardless of ability and age.  Peacehaven is a non-profit that serves people with intellectual disabilities, and volunteer workdays are a great way to interact and get to know the farmers who tend the crops there - www.peacehavenfarm.org

5. Arc Barks - special treats made by special hands - dog treats are made by bakers who have intellectual and developing disabilities. Stop by their store front Mon-Friday from 9am-2pm to participate in the baking, and to meet the volunteers  - 2823-C Spring Garden St - G'boro. I took the kids here a few weeks ago and we had a blast - everyone was so nice and the kids loved it - a great way to open up a conversation with your little ones about special needs and embracing others with differences - www.arcbarks.com

I hope this helps - thank you for taking the time to read and for your continued prayers and support!